I haven’t been able to stop thinking about a disagreement that occurred on a panel at the Bisnow Multifamily Conference Midwest last month.

The panel was called “What Does the Modern Renter Want?” and, naturally, the panelists spent a lot of time talking about amenities. Pools. Gyms. Saunas. Gardens. Coffee machines. The physical things operators invest in because residents supposedly want them.

But the conversation got stuck on a question that sounds simple and really isn’t: Do more amenities actually create a better resident experience?

There were strong opinions on both sides. Amenities can absolutely help a property stand out. People want convenience, flexibility, and spaces that fit their lives. But our data has also shown that adding more amenities does not automatically increase resident satisfaction. A beautiful gym may look great on a tour. That does not mean residents use it, or that it changes how they feel about living there.

I left the panel wondering whether we were using the word “engagement” a little too loosely. And this is funny coming from a former “Community Engagement Manager”. 

Is engagement something a property provides? Is it something a resident attends? Is it app activity, amenity usage, survey responses, or renewal decisions? And, perhaps more importantly, what are operators actually doing when they say they have a resident engagement strategy?

So I did what most marketers do when a question won’t leave them alone: I hit social media.

I went looking through multifamily conversations, Reddit threads, senior living posts, campus housing research, and examples from people doing this work every day. I expected to find a lot of resident programming ideas. And I did find some—food trucks remain undefeated.

But the most interesting examples were not really about events at all.

They were about a senior living team member recognizing that picking up a broom gave one resident a sense of purpose. A property manager trying everything she could think of and still watching the same 10 people attend. A resident explaining that people wanted connection, but needed a less awkward way into it. An operator pointing out that residents feel valued when they can see how their feedback affected a decision.

The more I read, the clearer it became: resident engagement is not something you add to a property. It is something you learn to recognize in resident behavior.

And that changes how you build a resident engagement strategy.

First, stop using attendance as a synonym for engagement

One property manager shared on Reddit that a 150-unit community’s monthly event drew 10 to 15 people, its raffle drew eight to 12, and its food offering drew five to 10. Only five residents responded to a community survey. Yet “sense of community” remained a recurring complaint.

That story is painfully familiar because the team was doing the things we traditionally label as engagement. The problem was not effort. The problem was the measurement.

Attendance tells you who was free at 6 p.m. on Thursday and willing to walk into a room where they might not know anyone. It does not tell you whether the other 140 households feel informed, respected, or connected. Low event turnout can coexist with strong relationships. High turnout can coexist with terrible operations. Free tacos are powerful, but they cannot carry an entire resident experience.

Instead of asking only, “How many people came?” ask what residents did before, during, and after the interaction. Did reminders increase participation? Did the same small group attend every time? Did new residents come? Did people continue connecting afterward? Did the activity solve a real need? Did it change sentiment, task completion, or renewal behavior?

That is the shift from programming to a resident engagement strategy.

What multifamily can learn from senior living: engagement can be ordinary

One of the best examples in the source material came from senior living. A former homemaker saw a team member sweeping, picked up the broom and began sweeping too. The employee did not redirect her to a scheduled activity. She grabbed the dustpan and joined her.

That is meaningful engagement. It is purpose, identity, and recognition in an entirely ordinary moment.

Senior living professionals talk about this with a level of nuance multifamily should borrow. The goal is not to keep people busy. It is to understand their history, preferences, routines, and sense of self well enough to support moments that feel meaningful to them. Research in residential care similarly connects engagement and peer support with valued social identity, reciprocal relationships, and social contribution.

Multifamily residents have different needs and levels of independence, of course. But the principle travels well: people do not stop being themselves when they sign a lease.

A resident who works nights may value quiet, asynchronous communication more than a social calendar. A parent may experience a reliable package notification as more useful than an evening mixer. A dog owner may build stronger relationships during the same morning walk than at any property-sponsored event. Someone who always uses the bike room may value a repair station more than a new lounge.

A behavior-led resident engagement strategy notices those patterns. It does not require every resident to engage in the same way.

What multifamily can learn from campus housing: belonging needs an easy way in

Campus housing understands that proximity does not automatically create belonging. Putting hundreds of people in one building does not make them friends. The strongest residential programs create repeated, low-pressure ways for students to find their people, contribute, and build an identity within the larger institution.

Research on college housing has linked strengths-based conversations and programming with higher first-year engagement and retention. Additional research found that living environments and peer relationships shape students’ sense of belonging. The lesson is not that apartment operators should recreate the residence hall. It is that belonging is usually built through smaller connections, not one giant “community” initiative.

As I researched what operators and residents were actually doing, I kept noticing the same pattern: the most promising ideas gave people an easy, natural reason to connect. 

Game nights worked when they happened consistently, had a recognizable host, and gave newcomers a low-stakes way into the group. Parent introductions, clothing swaps, bike repair stations, and passive book exchanges created connection around something residents already needed or enjoyed.

That distinction matters. “Come meet 40 strangers” is high friction. “Bring your bike down for a tune-up” gives someone a reason to arrive and something to talk about once they get there. A predictable “First Friday at 6” removes the work of figuring out when the next gathering will happen. A group chat gives relationships somewhere to continue without requiring another formal event.

The best resident engagement strategy doesn’t force community. It reduces the awkwardness of joining.

What senior living and campus housing can learn from multifamily: behavior can improve timing

Multifamily, meanwhile, has an advantage other housing sectors can learn from: an enormous amount of behavioral and operational data.

Operators can see when residents open messages, complete tasks, submit maintenance requests, use amenities, ask questions, review offers, and make decisions. Used responsibly, those signals can help teams communicate when a resident is most likely to need something, not simply when the property calendar says it is time to send another blast.

This is where technology earns its place. Not by replacing human judgment or manufacturing fake personalization, but by making relevant context visible. A team member should not have to remember every interaction across hundreds of homes. The system should help them recognize the moment.

Senior living brings the lens of identity. Campus housing brings the lens of belonging. Multifamily can bring the lens of timing. Put them together and a resident engagement strategy becomes far more human, not less.

Build around behaviors, not personas on a slide

Traditional personas can be useful, but “busy professional” is not enough to design an experience. Two busy professionals may behave completely differently. One wants every update by text and never attends an event. The other works from the lounge, knows the onsite team and shows up whenever there is a tasting.

Start with observable behavior across the resident journey:

  • What do residents repeatedly use, ignore, or abandon?
  • Where do they ask the same question more than once?
  • Which communications lead to action, and which create silence?
  • What happens immediately before a complaint, transfer request, renewal decision, or notice to vacate?
  • Which behaviors cluster by property, household type, tenure, or stage in the journey?
  • Where does a resident have to switch channels, repeat information, or wait without knowing what happens next?

Then pair the data with real conversation. Behavior can show you where to look; it cannot always tell you why. A resident who never uses the gym may dislike the equipment, feel uncomfortable in the space, prefer outdoor exercise, or simply have no interest in fitness. The signal is an invitation to learn, not permission to guess.

A practical framework for a behavior-led resident engagement strategy

1. Define the outcome before the activity. Decide whether you are trying to improve trust, task completion, amenity use, neighbor connection, issue resolution, renewal participation, or portfolio retention. “Engagement” is too broad to measure on its own.

2. Map the moments that matter. Look beyond move-in and renewal. Include maintenance, packages, payments, access, pet routines, shared spaces, complaints, life changes, and transfers. These everyday moments often matter more than marquee programming.

3. Identify the behavior you can observe. Choose signals tied to the outcome: response time, repeat questions, portal completion, usage patterns, channel preference, offer views, decision timing, or requests for information.

4. Reduce friction before adding more. If residents are not using something, do not immediately promote it harder. Check whether the hours, instructions, location, format, or social expectations make participation difficult.

5. Design more than one path. Some residents want an event. Others want a useful service, a digital interaction, a quiet perk, or a one-to-one conversation. A strong resident engagement strategy accommodates different ways of participating.

6. Close the loop visibly. If residents give feedback, tell them what happened because of it—even when the answer is no. Being heard is not the same as getting every request approved. It means people can see that their input entered the decision process.

7. Measure movement, not volume. Track whether the intended behavior or outcome changed. A smaller program that solves a real problem may be more valuable than a crowded event that leaves no lasting effect.

8. Learn locally, scale carefully. A culturally specific food experience can be deeply meaningful in one community. A flower-arranging activity can create connection somewhere else. The point is not to copy the tactic across 50 properties. Copy the method: notice what residents care about, invite participation, and make the experience personal.

Amenities are infrastructure. Engagement is activation.

An article on multifamily fitness centers made this point clearly: value is not created by what a property provides, but by what people engage with. A room full of equipment is an amenity. Guidance, flexible access, programming, and continuity turn that room into part of someone’s routine.

The same logic applies everywhere. A resident app is not engagement if it becomes another inbox. A survey is not listening if no one closes the loop. A resident lounge is not community if no one feels comfortable entering it. A renewal offer is not a relationship if it arrives without context.

This does not mean every amenity needs a class, campaign, or complicated activation plan. Sometimes the most human move is the boring one: make sure it works, make it easy to use, and make help available when someone needs it. Senior living leaders often say the organizations that win are the ones that do the “boring” things exceptionally well. Multifamily should take that seriously.

The real test: does your strategy recognize the resident?

The modern renter does not necessarily want more touchpoints. They want fewer irrelevant ones and better important ones.

A resident engagement strategy built around behavior recognizes that someone can be highly engaged without attending a single event. They may pay on time, use shared spaces, communicate digitally, refer a friend, and renew with very little onsite interaction. Another resident may attend everything and still leave because maintenance communication broke their trust.

The goal is not maximum activity. It is a resident who feels known, supported, and able to move through the experience with less friction.

So yes, host the wine tasting if your residents love it. Bring in the food truck. Try the bike repair station. Create the group chat. But do not mistake the visible part of engagement for the whole thing.

The calendar can support your resident engagement strategy. Resident behavior should build it.